withLOVE

This weekend something relatively big happened. After two and a half months of a blissful journey, I ended my first real relationship. I could write for days about the how’s and the why’s. I could say more words than needed. I probably will take the opportunity to write about it over the next few weeks. Above all, I am so grateful that it happened. I didn’t necessarily want it to end, but I know that I did the right thing. I don’t think, even if I could go back, that I would change a thing. I really enjoyed every minute of it. I learned gained and experienced so much. When I have to help my friends, I actually have empirical advice. When I get into a relationship again in the future, I have a better understanding of how they work, what to do, the feelings you should and shouldn’t have, and some of the things that, for me personally, do and will continue to matter whilst in a relationship. Ending it was hard. In fact that hour was one of the only bad parts of our otherwise great relationship. It was fun. It was new. It was educational. It was brief. It was great while it lasted. And now it’s over. That’s final. We are still in each others lives… We still get along and I hope we can continue to care about each other. Romantically though, this is over. It was fantastic, but it was time to come to an end. I knew it wasn’t going to work out long term, and quite frankly I love and respect that man too much to use him, lie to him, play games with his heart, and pretend like we were in love, or that it was going to work, when the fact of the matter was, we weren’t and it wasn’t. The longer I waited, the more painful it would have been. So though it hurt to kill a good thing, it was the best decision for everyone. Nothing can change that.
I am relieved.
It’s done. It’s over.
I did what I needed to do.
We all are going to survive just fine.
I am so grateful for everything, but so very glad to be done with it all.
This was the end of a rather large and monumental chapter of my adolescent life.